Napping

Sometimes its good and sometimes its not. There are days I wake up afraid to move because its going to hurt. I keep my pain meds downstairs, forcing me to move and engage in the home and family. It's sad that there are days like that. Yesterday was one, I ached. Everywhere I hurt.

Going down for a nap in the afternoon is easier than you think, and I am always tired by that night. Some days its 2 hours, some days its four. I am out, dead to the world and I don't need any help getting to sleep.

The sweetest thing about this time is my darling 3 year old. We do nap time together. After my hospital stay I have noticed my boys hover. They want to touch, hold, see and be near me. this can be fatiguing but is also healing. It is healing for them and for me. My son hates naps but as soon as the mom component comes in he's all for it. So there we are, me, my son, his blanket and stuffed toy.

So, I sleep. My son curls himself into my arms, close enough to touch at all times. Little Bear under his blankie, I have my own for napping. I hear his breathing steady and deep as I drop off. It doesn't matter the weight on my arm or the heat in the room. We sleep. We nap. I heal.

God, I am so grateful for this chance to be with my boys again. To be with my family and heal spiritually as well as physically. Despite the challenges and the bad days. Moments like this are worth everything.