A personal journey beginning the day I was rushed from the Emergency Room and admitted to the hospital to be treated for a large brain tumor. Through this life experience I try to share lessons I have learned and my faith in God is a large part of that. Some images can be graphic in nature, dealing with injury and subject matter can be triggering for some readers.
I do a lot of personal study, medication and reflection during this time. In my reading, I came across a book I had read years ago; Anatomy of the Spirit by C. Myss PhD. In its pages I have found reminders of the need to spiritually heal while also helping the physical to heal. These reminders or beliefs are not dependent on personal faith, but can translate to all faiths and spiritual values.
Simple Truths of Heaven:
All circumstances can be changed in a moment, and all illness can be healed. The Divine is not limited by human time, space, or physical concerns.
Be consistent: live what you believe.
Change is constant. Every life goes through phases of difficult change as well as peace. Learn to go with the flow rather than try to stop change from occurring.
Never look to another person to make you happy- happiness is an internal, personal attitude and responsibility.
Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge, and relationship contains some message worth learning or teaching to others.
Positive energy works more effectively than negative energy in each and every situation.
Live in the present moment, and practice forgiveness of others.
Simple truths, but very complex applications. I am so glad to have rediscovered what I once knew. I am blessed to have the opportunity to learn these things at a deeper and more intense level than I had known. God is good. May He bless and keep you.
In healing there is a process of retraction, a drawing in and drawing away from the overwhelm of daily life. You pull back. Go inside. Hide in your little cave. For me, this process is necessary as I begin to rebuild and refocus on me and what I need. Not in a selfish "I want it" way but in a "who am I? Where am I?" way. One that looks to understand the new reality it has been presented with.
When I can understand where I am and what my reality is, then I can work to address areas of weakness and strengthen areas that have been traumatized. This begins at a spiritual level, an energetic point from where all physical reality arises. Before anything was, it first existed in spirit, in belief. No permanent healing can take place until that is addressed and then you are able to work out again, out through the mental and physical layers that make up who you are.
"Healing requires taking action. It is not a passive event. We are meant to draw on our inner resources, to find the material strength to leave behind our outmoded beliefs and behaviors, and to see ourselves in new healthy ways-to take up our beds and walk." Anatomy of the Spirit, C. Myss PhD
I am finding that my spiritual levels have been affected. During this journey I have lost focus (double vision), lost my voice (nerve damage to facial nerves that control my speech), and lost part of my hearing (learning to tune out the distractions and listen to those closest to me). It amazes me how God takes us as we are and opens us to the lessons and possibilities that He desires us to receive. I am humbled at His care, His concern, and His attention to me and my emotional and spiritual needs.
He is teaching me to be aware, to stay focused on the desires of my heart, to stand up for myself in healthy ways, and to focus on the things of eternity, the things that matter most. When you have limited resources of time and energy you find quickly what really matters. You eliminate those things that act as distractions and harm your relationships. I find myself reaching out to loved ones, that before I would have assumed I had all the time in the world for.
I am just me, I am a slow learner. sometimes I forget, and he reminds me. Slow down. Trust. Let go of the good to reach for better. I am blessed. I know God is there. He is reaching to help us, in the ways we need, not necessarily the ways we want. But, He leaves it to us to accept or reject His gift of healing. God bless and keep you in His loving care.
Teamwork is vital to having a strength based approach to healing. Hope and a positive outlook are also important. This can be hard working through a long-term illness or recovery. There are many resources and options for facilitating those feelings. For creating a feeling of connectedness and inclusion and also improving your outlook in everyday.
After finding that my recovery is slow and intense my husband worked to find some additional resources. One he found was fascinating for him because the mental health community is beginning to look at the impact of positivity and hope on healing. They have found that we, each of us, has the power to affect our own mental health. We can choose to take control of our attitudes and internal beliefs.
The benefits of this on our physical healing are still being reviewed, but lets be honest a positive approach and hope in every day can make all the difference. Together my husband and I are now focused on taking 21 days to learn to be more positive, to look for the good in everyday, to move forward in healing with hope in the future. Take this journey with me. I invite you to review Shawn Achors video and see how it can impact you.
A pretty good, as far as informative, appointment yesterday with my neurologists office. He was called to consult for an emergency but his team took good care of me this time. I was polite and clear about my needs. The appointment was still about one hour in length.
Things covered addressed such topics as pain management; updates in medication and the use of alternative methods in recovery; yoga, thai chi, and meditation.
We had a fun discussion about terminology in records. The specialist could not understand how anyone looking at my case could not understand that a craniotomy meant immediate brain trauma and injury. I explained that the words used by some assisting agencies actually require each accessory diagnosis to be listed. Comments about how silly that is were heard, but they did provide my formal diagnosis. This can help with recovery tools and help getting the right language to the right people.
I asked about additional support groups; the last brain tumor/surgery support group found in the Salt Lake area was cancelled with no further information provided. Some have suggested that we attend stroke support groups or PTSD support groups as the trauma and healing patterns are identical. This makes sense and many resources that help stroke patients are beneficial for me and others I know suffering from PTSD. Some of our challenges are unseen but present in every day function; cyclical thinking, memory retention, poor/limited comprehension.
I am making slow but consistent progress in my care and therapies. This is common, and I was told that many patients will plateau by about 6 months as they add more activities, disallowing for time to heal. Right now the restrictions to avoid driving remain in place as I address my response to stimulus and improve my tolerance for changes. I will need to take driving classes when able. (sad face)
Sadly, I am still ahead of most patients; I know who I am, I have kept a sense of humor, I can complete many everyday tasks- they just take so much longer than before. The specialist was not surprised at my level of limitation, this was hard as it demonstrates that many changes will continue to impact my life in both small and significant ways. I can't imagine the challenge that some experience not being able to walk, feed themselves, or communicate.
I have an additional referral to an audiologist as I still have almost complete hearing loss in my left side.
So, there it is. Month four post surgery. My next follow up will be set after my six month MRI, scheduled for January of next year.
I was a massage therapist for 5 years. I loved the many medical applications of this work. I have used massage and applications of it in coping with the pain, dealing with adhesions from the surgery, and working to break up the residual scar tissue. With my contacts in the field I have read of the recent and growing uses of massage therapy. Here is an article on the use of medical massage with cancer treatment.
When dealing with a significant injury many things become a challenge. One of my difficulties with this is my inability to manage the many stimuli of attending religious services; lights, sounds, large crowds. In meeting with a family friend, he posed these thoughts.
"I think to myself what the difference is between making the Sabbath a Holy Day or treating it as a Holiday. Do you know what the real difference is? An "I". I try to think about who the activity will serve. If it serves others, I can do it. But, if it only serves myself, it can wait."
This thought brings home to me my own concerns of my faith. I am restricted in my participation, but what example am I setting for my children? Using religious resources I have found the following questions, questions to answer on your own concerning your own faith.
A few questions to answer.
Do our actions set the Sabbath day apart as unique, different, and identifiable? (In a good and positive way.)
Do we leave behind worldly pursuits and pleasures to focus on spiritual matters?
Have we prepared for the Sabbath by completing some activities beforehand?
Do we worship on the Sabbath day by attending all our meetings and worthily partaking of the sacrament/communion?
Are we magnifying our callings? Do we serve to the best of our ability those we have covenanted to serve?
Do we feel closer to God and Jesus Christ through our actions on the Sabbath?
Are we strengthening family relationships on the Sabbath?
Are we lifting and serving others as part of our Sabbath day observance?
Do our Sabbath day activities rejuvenate us spiritually to meet the demands of the week?
Additional resources may be accessed at the following site and adapted for your own faith and cultural observances. Sabbath Day "Cans"
I've talked about my incredible support systems. My rehab team agrees that my support team is pretty incredible. Here is just a small sample, posted with permission.
"Dear Jen,
I think what you are describing (in your posts) is true for most "chronic" health conditions as well as grief over loss of a loved one. There is an initial outpouring of sympathy which tapers off. This is partly due to the fact that all the people around you who may have helped you out still have to deal with all the same things which occupied their day before you had your surgery. They may be able to shift things around for a while but eventually, they have to deal with their own issues as well. Think to your own experiences. You may have put your family on hold to help out one of your sisters or a friend after she had a baby but eventually, you have to go back to deal with your own family and catch up on all the things that didn't get done while you were gone. It is not that you loved your sister any less but you have your own life to lead as well.
Right now, you are still in the early stages of struggling with a life altering brain injury. You may regain most, if not all, of your physical strength but you will never be the same person you were before your surgery. Even if you weren't struggling to regain various abilities, there would be grief at that loss.
If you listen to Eckhart Tolle, who lectures about "being in the moment," even someone who does not experience a trauma is not the same person 5 minutes later from the person they were earlier. You had someone messing around in your brain, the very essence of who you thought you were. Talk about the ultimate invasion of one's personal space -- a rape; a violation of your very being! We are all unique but as we try to empathize with what others have undergone, only your fellow brain surgery survivors may truly "get it." Time and again I have found this out myself. As I have grown older, I have had a variety of experiences from which to draw on to help you understand where someone else is coming from but until I've actually experienced that problem, it is "not the same." Now that I am legal guardian for my Mom, I have even more understanding of what my friend, Terry, has gone through dealing with her mom.
As for people wanting you to help with things that you previously volunteered to help them with and not understanding that "you are still sick," remember, they are just trying to do a job that they probably volunteered for as well. I was a volunteer coordinator for several different groups and in a sense, still am when it comes to some of my activist activities fighting rezonings and such. I frequently found that it took more time to get other people to help me than to do something myself so I got very bad at delegating unless it was something like "getting bodies to show up at a meeting or to work an event" where I literally did not have a choice. Sometime this is a bad thing as you don't keep your "group" engaged. Anyway, I really appreciated someone who would say something like, "I can't commit to something every week but if you have a one time job that requires ...."X", I may be able to fit it in my schedule. You could say that between physical therapy exercises and doctor's appointments, you don't know what your schedule is going to be like from day to day, try me again in 6 months or if there is X, that I can do over a week's period at home....(whatever you might feel like doing).
Another thing I have discovered during the aging process is that our behavior, even our thoughts, are not as purely under our control as we might like to think they are. We are often at the mercy of our biochemistry. Part of your anger is grief over your loss but there may also be a physiological component. Low blood sugar can turn even a nice person into a meanie. I used to wonder if a lot of the unpremeditated murders were committed by people who were hungry. There is a point, I can usually feel it when it comes on now, when my blood sugar drops and I over react to almost anything. My husband is the same way. They are discovering more and more mental illnesses are at least partly triggered by biochemical imbalances. I have no idea how long it takes the brain to recover from a surgical invasion. Could there still be some inflammation or swelling which may be triggering some of your emotional responses? If so, it might help to take a deep breath and say some sort of internal mantra such as "It's not me, it's my brain that feels this way." In my husband and my case, we often recognize the "hunger over reaction" in each other and have been known to either (a) keep really quiet until the food is ready or (b) say "eat something." Since we were married almost 11 years before we had Kaitlyn, I had already learned that being hungry makes us cranky and for years, rarely left the house with her unless I had some sort of snack and capri sonne drink in my purse :) I don't know if it was the fact that I was 30 before I became a parent or just have more imagination than some of the people I encounter but I used to feel amazement at all the things I saw parents doing with their kids, expecting them to behave perfectly, without any consideration to the fact that the child might be bored; tired; hungry; etc. I mean, taking a kid shopping near naptime is just asking for trouble! Sometimes, these things can't be helped but at least try to make an effort to mitigate the impact on the kid."
Here is a sample of Eckhart Tolle's meditation on being in the present moment:
Yes, a million times yes! This is showing love and support. Helping someone through trauma is pretty big and may take longer than you think, but keep in mind it is their journey, not yours. No two journeys are the same.
When you are sick or recovering people are pretty great. They ask how you are, they ask how everything is going, and they ask what they can do to help. People who have learned to not be vulnerable or who are used to giving help have a hard time receiving help. I talk more about vulnerability in Social Mask: Being Genuine I
We find that it is hard to let our guard down. We are "on display" and can therefor not give away any weakness. What does this mean? This means that if you ask us how we are you will get a "false positive". "I'm great! How are you?" (Really I'm not great. I hurt. My ears ring all the time. And I'm pretty sure that I only slept in snatches of exhaustion last night.)
These responses are fine if it is just a casual acquaintance; how we feel is really nobodies business but our own. These responses can be devastating, however, if the person is a close support or even a medical provider. We give a false impression of things being differently than they are. In our drive to avoid vulnerability we are unable to find true solace from the sources we rely on for support and care.
In terms of support we may inadvertently give the impression that since it is a "good day" that anyone who feels differently is not safe in expressing fears or concerns. Just as devastating are those who feel that since it is a "good day" we can be asked to do more or that now is the time to criticize the efforts we are making.
I hazard that for the recovering, nothing is worse than being asked to do more when already stretched to the limit. Without clear and consistent boundaries we can become easily overwhelmed and risk losing progress in our drive to mask what is really going on. We don't always feel when we have overdone it until it is too late. As my speech pathologists suggests, by the time you hit the limit of what you are capable of, it is already too late.
Masking creates unreasonable expectations in others for what our abilities and capabilities are. It keeps us from necessary support and guidance, and it limits our ability to be authentic with our healing process.
There is no time in healing to pretend that everything is fine.
With everything going on I just want to remind anyone going through a challenge, you get to take care of yourself first. You have permission to take care of you. Not in a selfish "Me, Me, Me" kind of way, but in a "I am a person. I deserve respect." kind of way. In airplanes you put the mask on you first before you can help your loved ones. So, here you go. 12 steps to setting safe space for yourself.
My self care that I have to do each day includes exercises and stretches so that I can move. I do mindfulness activities and meditation over the course of the day. (3 minutes now saves hours of pain later.) I have permission to say "No" or that I don't want something. I don't get to say mean things about myself, even to myself. Changing that inner voice can change everything. I find myself facing new things as a challenge, letting go of what I did before and accepting that now is different. I get to dream that I will continue learning and growing. Where I am now is not where I will always be. (This is true for every person.) I try to do something that brings me joy and feeds my spirit everyday. This is separate form my religious beliefs, it is acknowledgement and involvement in things that allow my soul to connect to the divine without the trappings of religion, which can create a feeling of obligation. this can include looking at the sky, listening to a song. Paining a picture. I have given myself permission to let go of people and things that drain me, that hurt me. I don't have to like everyone, but I can be kind to everyone. I can reach out and show love to those in my sphere of influence. We are sons and daughters of God. We all hurt, we all struggle, and we all have the potential for great joy.
No one person has the right to determine if another is "over-reacting" or if the event "was not that bad." Who are we to evaluate someone else's trauma history? What right do we have to say to another person that when they experience a trigger, that they do not have a right to their own history?
Trauma is perceived differently and experienced at different levels by everyone.
After some personal experiences I have found that society has a tolerance level for illness and trauma. They will be supportive, to a point. Then they start to use words like "hardship." (Pardon me, I'm sure I did not mean to make this difficult for you.)
I find I am dealing with a lot of anger over this. More than someone who is just unsupportive, I am frustrated by the ones that will express concern, until its inconvenient. They are willing to be there and "help" as long as they get something; recognition, ego, or even knowing the most current gossip. Do not dare pass the point of social acceptance. In my situation that happens to be about 13 weeks.
I started to put up walls. Recently, I had someone call me on it.
"Why aren't you being authentic? You are a positive person, but even I can see that it's not positive all the time."
My answer surprised me.
"Well, because no one really wants to hear it and they are done with me being sick."
My husband asked how I arrived at my conclusion. Being my protector he was set to take on whoever had hurt me. I went on to explain that it was more a feeling of inconvenience. In recent conversations, some of my support had begun to use words like "hardship" and "difficult." I received the message quite strongly that I was inconvenient or the newness was wearing off. If you offer help do not ever blame the person you are helping. Then it becomes about you and ego, honestly it's easier for you not to offer in the first place.
That made me the angriest. In conversation with me, using the word "hardship" to describe how me being sick was affecting them. So, instead of being safe the walls went up and I went into emotional lockdown. (All social masking in place and happy faces on.) Loss of progress, lack of healing, because I'm not going to ask for help if it creates drama. I don't need it. I don't want it. I refuse to give you the opportunity to make me feel worse because I am physically unable to overdo for you as I have in the past.
I do not give you permission to take my power and tell me what timeline or what impact this tumor and surgery get to have on my life. I am enough despite everything, and you do not get to take it from me because its "hard" for you. I am tempted to give you a list of "hard" things but I don't need to get in a pissing contest over this. I refuse to allow you to affect my personal power and even passively suggest that I am not enough. You don't get to steal my awesome.
No one has the right to determine the value of the effort put forth by another person.
I promise to my friends and family to not hold you to my timeline. I promise to allow you space for your own healing. I promise to make every effort to not allow my ego to get in the way of my love for you.
I have spent a large part of the past decade working with traumatized youth in a cognitive behavioral program focused on helping them to address trauma and learn new and healthier ways of functioning in life. With all that repetition I did not view myself as an authority but I did feel that I had a pretty good grasp on things. Now all those tools and techniques are teaching me how to function in my life. I have come to accept a basic truth.
Any form of abuse or traumatic life event, creates brain trauma.
I have nothing to base this on but my own experiences. From my work with abused youth and experiencing the trauma of my brain tumor and surgery, the effects created are the same. The results and even the treatment methods are remarkably similar.
1. Predictability. Traumatized youth cannot handle change. At all. You must warn, prepare, and follow through in as predictable a way as possible. You follow a daily schedule with almost religious fervor trying to decrease the anxiety and acting out behavior that they will engage in if distressed. You first begin with a written schedule posted for anyone to see. Then advise verbally prior to the activity or change of activity that a change is coming. Then you follow through as consistently as possible. If a change needs to be made, you notify, include them in decisions, and allow processing time before expecting a positive response.
2. Clarity. Clear, concise and simple instructions are necessary to helping youth complete any requested task. Suggestions for treatment include simple language and no more than 5 steps to the task. Some individuals need even fewer steps. For example, right now, I can maybe handle two steps if they are simple and non stressful.
3. Surprises. Nope. No, nada, never. Please see "Predictability." Any form of unexpected activity or surprise is potentially triggering. Anxiety levels increase and you have lost any potential for progress for the foreseeable future. This is not intentional on the part of the person experiencing the anxiety, it just is. The brain cannot learn and function unless calm and relaxed. Surprises eliminate that calm and create a state that the individual now needs to process before moving forward with healing. It is not unreasonable to expect this to take time and effort. Effort that someone used to abuse and trauma will refuse to make unless they view the benefit as "worth it."
I have also found that no two responses and reactions are the same. Even two people involved in the same event will have different physical and emotional responses. What we can do as support systems is to be compassionate. We can create a safe space for healing and we can self monitor to ensure that we are not furthering the traumatic cycle.
Compassion, awareness, and empathy will work to create an environment where healing can take place and where those who need the blessing of healing can find respite and acceptance.
On tragic days, such as September 11, 2001, I find that there are stories of individuals that work to make up the whole. The collection of life changing events created on this day live in the vivid memories of those of us who experienced watching the news, calling loved ones, and gathering together as we witnessed the terror. Events witnessed as a group tend to create collective social
memory, or a collection of individual memories combined to create the whole.
My story is that of an individual, but many stories exist of survivors and each reflects small individual miracles that remind us that God is here. God is aware. He will take any circumstance and bring it to our good if we will but let Him.
I pray for all who still feel the physical and emotional effects of September 11. May God bless you in your journey. Know that we mourn with you and that your story does not go unseen or unnoticed. May we exercise compassion and grace as we remember and continue to heal. May we, as a people, not lash out to become terrorists ourselves. May we act in love and compassion towards others. May we be kind, loving, and grateful for the time we have here to learn and grow. God bless and keep you.
Getting my awesome back. I can become so discouraged and frustrated making my way through phone trees, dealing with medical billing, and trying to access services (all support groups for my area have been cancelled, with no updated information being provided).
My day and my power are mine. No one can take them from me. No frustration can take what I am not willing to give up. Pain, discouragement, irritation all work to weaken my will and pull power from me. I ultimately make the decision. I own my right and ability to make simple decisions, nothing else is required right now. Despite limits I can make decisions about my power and my attitude, the way I face things. This largely impacts my interactions with others and the tone of the day. One of my support team calls it being the thermostat, not the thermometer. Set the day, don't reflect it.
I choose to me kinder. I choose to be patient with myself and others. I choose to see the progress, not the path left to journey. I assume innocence in the choices of others. I choose to have joy each day in the simple moments. I choose to be grateful each day that I am still here. I still have the opportunity to grow and change.
Be the thermostat in your life. Set the tone for your home, family, life. You will find that as you can hold firm, the distractions around you will work to meet you where you are. You will influence, for good or ill, the day and responses of others around you. Set the tone. Be the thermostat.
Some days are so long. I have spent many days of the last week in incredible pain. Finding pain management techniques that do not lead to other injury is a challenge. Using Mindfulness, Yoga, and even some Thai Chi movements have worked to help keep me on track. I am so unpleasant when I am hurting, it is ridiculous. (I find I have so many apologies to make.) Those are "Awesome" days; think "Shock and Awe".
I am choosing today to take back "Awesome". I have an amazing life with incredible people in it. My father in law and I have completed our Thai Chi breathing today and I have done my new PT exercises. I can walk my son to school. Grocery and emergency services are within walking distance. I have an amazing network of friends and family that are invested in my progress. I can do this.
If you are negative, want to troll around, or complain- don't bother me. I'm working on my Awesome.
Unexpectedly I have had the most support and respect from agencies often demonized in health care. I have prepared myself mentally and physically for necessary phone calls and communication that has opened my eyes. I have had support and encouragement from individuals working for the government or insurance companies. They call to check on me, offer unsolicited advice on required forms and work to make sure the process is smooth and non-problematic. I am so vulnerable right now, instead of taking advantage like so many would have you believe, my help has been an awakening.
Human beings are amazing. Individually we will go the extra mile to reach out and work to help others. The challenge, we are working through layers of red tape. This red tape can guide care or inhibit receiving necessary treatment. What determines this is the individual. Who helps and their knowledge base can work to make this process simple, or it can complicate it beyond comprehension. There have been times my advocate has had to argue with staff members to ensure that I received needed care. Now this, working with state and federal governments I have cheer leaders and advocates. Who knew?
Specific examples:
My short term disability case worker had me contact her directly with any concerns. She sent out requests for required paperwork well in advance. Then she worked to ensure that I had a good long term support worker and provided that contact information three weeks prior to the transition to ensure that no lapse in care occurred.
My long term worker has cheered me on. Ensured all documents were scanned and received and communicated with me when they were scanned into her files. She has educated me about working with Social Security and has offered herself as a support and I work through necessary care.
Social Security has created and online process that eliminates or decreases my need to talk to a specialist by phone or in person. I was given access and support; what forms to fill out, who to call, and when to apply. This information was relayed with an overriding concern that I have support and prayers as I heal.
Vocational Rehab has worked to ensure I have access to support for necessary skills and services. She communicates with me by email, making easier a process where I can forget information or lose track of questions. I can save and refer back to the message.
Individuals working within a larger framework have made a process approachable. I don't understand everything but they are there. My support team is incredible. So, oddly, a big "Thank You" to MetLife, Social Security, and the State of Utah Office of Rehabilitation. Your people make government work.
I often fascinates me how many things have worked to bring about healing and help during this trial. Prior to finding my tumor and undergoing surgery I had the privilege to receive training on Mindfulness, Brain development, and even its applications in treating trauma. (Thank you Jacob and Eric) My rehabilitation team has also expressed support for these activities and trainings as it helps me to cope with and find skills to address my current needs.
I use Yoga and Mindfulness to facilitate healing and recover from periods of extreme stress and anxiety, things that could cause my system to shut down. Recovering from any type of brain injury can benefit from the application of mind relieving practices. If you find Mindfulness and Meditation difficult and you are more physical, Tai Chi and Yoga can help. There are so many options that if you are yourself recovering, you are a family member, or a caregiver I encourage you to find something to stretch and relieve your mind. Access techniques to help you develop coping skills as you continue to progress.
In talking to my family and friends I have found that these help with PTSD sufferers, traumatized/abused children, returning veterans (even from WWII, Korea, and Vietnam), and brain tumor survivors. There are many resources; some cost money but many are free. Find something that strengthens and empowers you. If it doesn't work, try something else, but don't stop until you find a few resources that will help you in your individual recovery. I have included a few below. First is a Mindfulness exercise, then Yoga and Thai Chi.
God has blessed us with many resources to heal and recover from trauma. He does not leave us alone and comfortless. He reaches us in whatever way we need, if we will but be open to His whispers. You are not alone. You are loved. God bless and keep you in your journey.
"What is your plan/timeline for returning to work?"
Um, no idea. How do you explain to someone for the second time that your restrictions and limitations are still in place. That there will be no change until September. That even then, no one can predict what your abilities will be.
I have been told that driving is "off the table" for right now. A secondary injury is common for brain injury patients in the six months after the injury. My speech pathologist explained to me that the brain takes longer to heal than it takes the person to look or even feel somewhat normal. They rush getting better and it results in another injury, sometimes larger than the first within a short period of time. Comments such as "I didn't see them." or "I don't remember what I was thinking." are heard after the second accident.
I can do a lot walking. I have a grocery store within a mile, in case of a food emergency. The urgent care is next to the grocery. (Both have opened in the last year.) I am blessed to have family and willing friends able to help in emergency cases. I am learning to live without. I am, learning that much of our busy running around, is simply unnecessary.
How do I say, "I don't have one. I don't know what I can/can't do."
