Commonalities

Had a big day today. I had appointments set with my therapy team discussing progress and planning the next steps. A neighbor had therapy at the same time and was able to offer a ride. On the way we got to talking, both curious about the others experience. Despite differences in type and location of injury we had some strong commonalities.

1. We both feel guilty we are not healing faster. When in the role of doing and being, to sit and rest/recuperate, its discouraging and fatiguing.

2. We experience the need to do more and be more for our children; we feel guilty and embarrassed when we fall short of our expectations of what that should be. This guilt does not come from our children, they are just happy to have us around in whatever way they can. They accept the changes and don't compare us to our past selves.

3. During our individual journeys we both have lost what we used to believe was who we are. We lost a part of ourselves, only to find that who we are is still here. The trappings we surround ourselves with, the busy, the identity we form for our self is not who we are. We are spirit children of God. Literally separate from the physical form. (I wonder how many injured persons really exist within the shell of their life? Learning and waiting until their true self can emerge?)

4. God is bigger than everything. He can take the tattered pieces of our life and make from it beautiful tapestries. Holding to Him allows us both strength to move through the hard things. To believe there is more than now.

5. Love and support is vital from our closest family and friends. As my speech therapist says we each need an advocate/protector. I call this my touchstone, my center. The person around which I can be fully vulnerable, my sounding board and my cheerleader. Sometimes this can be in one person, sometimes it is found within a team of people.

Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you every day. Find a place of healing and center where you can allow your mind to rest. Where you can move forward in healing, without needing to defend or explain. You can do this.