We have struggled as all couples do and have times where we bear one another up. But always he is there. Throughout this trial he has been loving and patient with me, when I could not be. When I was angry with myself for loading the dishwasher with cups and bowls upside down- he said that it was ok, we would rerun them.
Tonight, was the end of a long day. Campbell's soup and grilled cheese starred as dinner. No complaints just praise. We spent the evening with the boys, cuddled on the couch. It was what I needed to remind me of what matters.
The sink has dishes, toys are still out in some parts of the house, laundry is folded but not put away- this is not what matters. He reminds me "Hey, there are no expectations. Do your best. What do you need tonight? How can I help?" He means it. The other day I made what I considered to be a sarcastic self-deprecating remark, "Hey, that's my wife you're talking about."
He doesn't read what I write- this is my space and he doesn't want me to worry about who is reading. He wants me to be honest and open with myself and the world about what its like to have your voice trapped inside. I never make this much sense in conversation. This is an outlet where I can write, with no pressure. Where I can just be what I am. He loves me. He proves it everyday.
I love the following story, I found it a little while ago and just cried. It is easy to forget that story book romance is just that. Real romance copes with the health and the sickness, poor and rich. It copes with juggling medical bills, changing circumstances, pain, and emotional outbursts. It reassures us that we belong. We are important and that someone has our back.
Impossible Questions
I don't want a fairy tale, I want a grown up love that accepts as you are and also allows for change. Where you both make mistakes but the love doesn't leave. Where you both make an effort to work together.
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