We exist as a collection of moments and life experiences. We become how and what we live. What then do we become when we can't remember? I'm talking not about, "Oh, I forgot" moments but when the memories themselves are actually damaged, say by someone working directly on our brains.
I went to sing to my youngest and after the first line, did not recall anything else. I have sung this song to him every night for months. I sat on his bed trying to recall and arrived at a complete blank every time. Not wanting to upset my son, we began a different song and explained that mommy would sing him the other song tomorrow. (After she could look it up.)
He was tucked in and ready for bed. Then mommy went to her room and sat quietly trying to accept and grieve for the loss of a silly ridiculous song that mattered to no one but my son and I. My heart ached with the loss and it was such a simple thing but to me it felt huge. My son handled it well, for which I am grateful.
All I can hold to is a scripture I memorized years ago (thank you Brother Larson, please forgive me if I make a mistake).
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim
I can trust that I am in here somewhere. I will get it all back. I just need to relax and trust and God will carry me through this. The big challenges, and the small. Even if I cannot remember the words to a song sung only for a young boy, my God can. May He bless your day.
Hugs, memories are important.
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