Remaking the Holidays

This year has led to so many changes in our home. Going through weeks of radiation led to another shift in how we approach our days. With the holiday season approaching, it also became necessary to look at our traditions and consider changing things up.

We must be willing to change where we are now to get where it is we want to go. 

It is not enough to say, "This is what we have always done." That is a poor reason to do anything in life. Break down the day. What things serve you? What things fill your soul? What actually matters to you? And what no longer works? 

If something no longer works for us life, we realized it is ok to look at changes that more accurately reflect who we are now. This can mean changes in who we spend time with, how we spend your time, and even how we celebrate. I used to prepare an extensive meal, decorate elaborately, and even do most of the housekeeping. None of those things work for our family any more.

This year, we are changing most of our holiday meal. We are changing when we have family and friends visit. We are changing our gift giving to reflect where we are now. We are taking away things that pull away from what it is we want to accomplish, while leaving room for those things that matter most. 

We need to have reasonable expectations of ourselves and others. 

As we have shaped how we are approaching the holiday, we also needed to set some reasonable standards that reflect our priorities. It is unreasonable to assume that we are the same each day. It is ok to adapt our expectations to the situation. 

High stimulus environments wear me out much faster as I work through layers of light and sound. We have young children in our fmaily, some events are simply not a good fit for us right now. It is ok to adapt how we interact and what we interact with to reflect who we are. 

No apology. No explaination. No agenda necessary. 

When we are adaptable we can expereince the holidays as we are and instead of meeting the expectations of others, we are able to authentically engage with our world. We are able to do what matters most to us, and enjoy this time for celebration as we are today. 

Moving beyond what was, is encouraging us to try new things together. I couldn't be more excited. 

This Mothers Day

 

 

This is my first Mothers Day from surgery. My craniversary is right around the corner, 10 days after my birthday, just the end of this month. Not every day is perfect but there is something perfect in everyday. This. This is why I keep going. They drive me crazy sometimes, they are often too smart for their own good. My boys. The loves of my life.

 

I have been blessed to be able to be their mother for another year. I need help. Sometimes it takes a lot of help if I am going through more serious rehabilitation but these women and many others have pulled together in ways I never knew were possible. My sons have been held and loved when i could not do it. They have someone to run and play with them, because I cant always be there. They have learned that the love for them is infinite and from many sources.

 

I am deeply grateful for this past year and every year I will have to love and nurture these bright souls. This Mothers Day, I'm just grateful that I had the chance to keep going.