Expectations and Advice

With everything going on it has been hard to not compare what was to what is. The now is so very different than what used to be. I was busy, engaged, and often overextended as if some part of me was always making up for lost time. Then the tumor and my resulting new life.

In the middle of all of this my sweet sister came to stay for a few days. We planned it out; I nap, I rest, I can't do a lot. But seeing her and hearing her laugh was like finding a missing part of myself. You see, my sisters and I all share the same voice. Listening to her laugh as we did my OT homework together, a puzzle, was so emotionally healing. I lose my voice when I laugh. (Some parts of my throat still don't work right.) Listening to her was like hearing an echo of myself that I am still here.

After two days, she headed home to her family after playing with my boys and just sitting with me doing what I have to do every day.  Before leaving she made sure to give me some good advice, some advice I have heard from others, but from her I could hear it. Here are her Great 8:

1. Stop apologizing, you're not dead.

2. Redefine success. What is a successful meal? What is successful time with each boy?
 
3. Make a daily schedule of events. Transition of 15 minutes between events.

4. Slowly transition responsibilities with reasonable expectations.

5. Slow down, you don't have to keep up with anyone else's expectations. 

6. Suspend life choices until one year post surgery, at least.

7. Measure success not failure. I am doing more and better, but not everything is urgent.

8. Take things slowly; that is not a failure, that is respecting limits.

MM, I love you. Thank you. Funnier than you think the next week my Speech Pathologist said the same thing. I think there is a lesson here for me. Thank you for being open to the Holy Spirit.