Going Quiet

I find that I can go very quiet when coping with strong and often unfamiliar emotions. Despite this being a challenge I have worked on, even prior to my tumor diagnosis, it is still very difficult for me. The blessing is that I can feel and honestly express emotions, but sometimes I have to pull back in order to figure out what it is I am feeling and dealing with.

I have triggers and cues to help me identify areas of anxiety and stress. These can become incredibly overwhelming. In facing some struggles of the past few weeks, I have been told repeatedly to slow down. Anyone that knows me, knows this is not an easy thing. I live ready and waiting to see how fast I can run. (I ran sprints in track when I was younger because I didn't have patience for anything longer.)

I keep reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I can be patient with myself and others. I can slow down and embrace the joy that is each moment. I can respect lags and periods of seemingly no progress for what they are, a chance to learn, to appreciate, and to grow inside.

It's not easy, but with God I can do it.

God bless and keep you.