Daily Progress

It doesn't happen much anymore. There are rarely the "Aha!" moments where something magically happens and I show measurable progress. It;s hard to think about the things still missing, the parts that are still broken. Today, i had a breakthrough. I don't know if it will last, if this part of me is coming back permanently or if it is a simple fluke. Today I found part of my soul. 

For the first time in over two years, today I was craving music. Like needing music, I used to always have music as part of my life but this crazy tumor made listening to any sounds so painful. We did all sorts of tolerance training and finally today I just felt funky, I couldn't figure it out. (Yes, I have some friends going through some really tough stuff, but that wasn't it.) Right now, and for the past hour I have made dinner while listing to classic rock and folk music. Chicago is playing and all I want to do is sit and cry in relief, it feels so good. I can sway, I can dance in my kitchen, it's like finding a lost piece of my soul. The music touches my heart without the pain that always now seems to be there. This is a gift and I am not ignoring the mercy that this moment is. I don't care if the house is clean, or that everything is ready on time. None of that matters as i spin at my kitchen counter. Not every day is like this, but today I get my music.

Progress still happens, it is slow and you can never stop pushing against the walls of possibility for more, push for more so steadily that there is no other option but that the Universe grants your request. daily practice, daily effort, these things move mountains. These things can retrain the mind, no matter the extent of the injury. 

Let it Be

So, for you that know me, I love music. All music; Classical, soul, gospel, country, rock, pop, punk, alternative, and even disco. I have spent much of my time, in years past, listening to music, attending concerts, and simply enjoying the way that music reflects emotions and life.

Since surgery, sounds have become incredibly painful. Extra noise, of any kind, is just that, noise. It hurts. I get headaches, become easily overwhelmed and have trouble finding the pure enjoyment that music used to hold for me.  That is, until this week.

The Beatles offer such a simple melody that while overhearing some songs the other day I found I could relax.  I caught myself nodding my head, singing along (off-key), and generally just being in the moment.

So, the simple melody works. What a blessing. Not for everyday, but for now its a place to start. A place to relearn how to take in music and not become encompassed with all the "stuff" going on around me. Tolerances for other music remain low. My next project will be working on Mozart, is the next step forward in relearning to enjoy classical music. I have missed this part of my life.

God Bless and keep you, and "Let it Be".